I’m sure you can relate to this feeling. Everyone feels it from time to time. And there are always people with stories that will outdo yours, but right now, in my life, overwhelmed is an understatement.
My husband passed away 11 years ago, almost to the day. Every year, at this time of year, I have trouble doing normal things, feeling normal, getting things done. It passes, and every year it gets a little better.
However, this year, my Mom is launching her new novel, “Verity”, on the evening of the anniversary of his death. I am very happy for her, and am helping her with the launch with every ounce of strength that I can pull together, however, it is a very bad time for me.
On top of that, two of my co-workers lost loved ones in the last two weeks. They both came back to work this week, and seeing them with tears in their eyes, makes me well-up. I have flash-backs to the moment when my husband passed… sometimes it’s hard to breathe.
But, I have duties. I have to keep moving forward. The living go on living, and they have needs, and I have to put aside memories that are 11 years old and deal with them.
My daughter is at university, but she doesn’t drive and transit doesn’t get her there, so I have to drive her there and back before and after work. That adds another full hour to my commute, which is already insanely long. Normally, I don’t mind. I rather enjoy spending that extra time with her (except when she’s sleeping!) but this week, I ache all over, and it feels like there is no reprieve from it.
I used to feel depressed, however, now I have a wonderful new man in my life (I know, what am I complaining about?) and he loves me dearly. But he works in another province and is only home one week a month, so the rest of the time I am left to deal with my feelings and the work of running our household on my own. It’s not too bad, I shouldn’t complain, and this isn’t really a complaint, but this week I’m exhausted. I need a little time for myself.
But there is the launch. I have to help promote it – and we don’t have enough people signed up yet! I’m hoping we’ll knock registrations out of the park, but we haven’t yet and the launch is in two days. I’m not going to give up, or lose hope, or get depressed, I’m going to give it everything I’ve got. but I’m feeling overwhelmed.
Anyone have the cure for this feeling? or can you make the aches and pains go away? Please let me know what you think I could do – I don’t want my Mom to see how I’m feeling…